Large-Size Casket Sales Increase

A satirical look at current events!

Large-Size Casket Sales Increase:  Due to increases in obesity rates, casket makers are reporting huge growth in extra large caskets, calling it a dignified way for families of the obese to find closure.  No kidding!  How are they supposed to find closure if they can’t close the casket? 

Last Typewriter Rolls Off Assembly Line in UK:  The last typewriter has rolled of the assembly line and is headed to London's Science Museum.  Great!  Now what am I supposed to do with all that white out I bought?  It doesn’t seem to work all that well on my laptop.


College Head Coach Salaries Rise:  The average annual salary for head coaches at major colleges is $1.64 million, up nearly 12% over last season - and more than 70% since 2006, when USA TODAY Sports began tracking coaches' compensation.  Its comforting to know that all our education dollars aren’t all going to those teacher types who probably haven’t the slightest idea how to properly throw a football.

Oceanside Man Pleads Not Guilty to Cooking Wife: Authorities say a southern California man whose wife's flesh was found cooking in pots on the stove at their home in Oceanside has pleaded not guilty to murder and other charges.  The man told police that he promised his wife that he would to serve her all day on Thanksgiving.  All followed by Ladyfingers for desert.


No Nutritional Advantage in Organic Food:  A new study finds that organic products have no significant nutritional advantage over conventional foods, even though consumers can pay significantly more for them.  Ironically, another study found that there’s no significant advantage to high-end hookers, even though you can pay significantly more for them.  

Church of England Says No to Women Bishops:  After decades of debate, the governing body of the Church of England has refused to approve women serving as bishops.  Church officials say that despite the ruling, women will still be free to continue serving Bishops their coffee and tea.

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