The AA Drunk-a-Logue from Bill W. that We Needed to Hear

Bill W., the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, should have given the following Drunk-a-logue, one which exposes his self-serving venality and the true crippling cult like roots of AA,

In Alcoholics Anonymous, members share their "drunk-a-logue", which follows the following format: what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now. In reality, members divulge their self-aggrandized self-loathing selves in "shares" which range from five to twenty minutes , depending on the undisciplined nature of the group and cowardice of the meeting's leader.

Based on the truth from God's Word and independent research, I have since learned that Alcoholics Anonymous is a C-U-L-T. The more I know the truth, that I am a child of God, unconditionally loved regardless of how I feel, the more that I know the "Lie and the lies" of AA.

Just for fun, I began wondering what it would be like if Bill W., the "Floundering Founder", had been "rigorously honest" in his own drunk-a-logue (please, try to stifle your laughter).

This little parody is for everyone who ran from AA, and not only lived, but laughed to tell about it:

My name is Bill Wilson. I am using my last name because I want everyone to know that I never practiced what I preached, including anonymity. I am a narcissistic, self-righteous puritanical busybody who wants to make himself the center of your life. And You - that's right, You! -- are all alcoholics.

Hi, Bill!    

I have never really been a member, because I have never really been sober. Even after I started AA, I dabbled in LSD, I cheated on my wife many times (some would call that "sexual addiction") and I never quit smoking. (Where's my whiskey?!) 

What was it like?

Honestly, I concocted that crock of a "religious" experience in the "Big Book". I was really battered into submission by a bunch of crazy "Oxford Group" religious fanatics, and I was so "thrilled" with the experience, that I just had to "share" it with all of you. I saw a chance to be awesome, to be better than other people, to be "Jesus Christ" for all of you sick people who need a savior. Since misery loves company, I found some reprobate doctor named  Robert Smith, and roped him into my big scheme.

What happened?

Really, nothing happened. I am still a depressed, repressed, suppressed pressure-cooker of self-righteous indignation, and I need people to know and love me, so I decided to dedicate my life to creating this "fellowship", where I can be surrounded by people who are duped into styling themselves as self-loathing losers. That way, I feel better about myself.

To make sure that you remain losers, I commit you to identifying with their your failing. Every one of you must confess that you are an "alcoholic", and that you will never be anything other than that.

You do not share your name, since I want to remove any sense of self-respect in your life. You are an alcoholic, because that is what I say that you are. Like another well-known cult leader taught me, "Repeat a lie often enough. . ."

To make sure that you never shake that sense of shame, you always identify yourself as an alcoholic. You take a "painstaking" inventory of all your shortcomings, and confess it to someone who will probably use it against you later on, no doubt. Of course, the criteria for this "fearless moral inventory" is never articulated for you, so you walk around forever wondering and wandering whether you have done a thorough "house cleaning". That sense of guilt will never go away, and so you will keep coming back because if it's not working, it must be your fault! See how my sick scheme works?

What it's like now?

Well, you're all here listening to me vent, aren't you? I would say, "I like it very much". No one ever gets sober in an AA meeting. People get sober because they stop trying to fix themselves and let go of their "self-preoccupation". In the meetings, I want you forever fixated on yourself, so that you will never get better.

No one is really sober in AA, anyway, with all the cigarettes, cookies, cakes, and  coffee in full and running supply. All of those old-timers, like me, love our coffee, and we love to smoke cigarettes! Even though I can't breathe on my own any more *cough* *hack* *spew*, I still smoke. When I have to choose between my oxygen tank and another drag on a cigarette, I puff away.

The government makes most of you come, too, since that's the easiest way to keep the numbers up. The government likes making people dependent, as do I. 95% of you who enter the meetings never stay, and so many of you keep killing yourselves! I will never get my ego-fix if none of you show up on a regular basis!

My name is Bill Wilson, and I am a narcissistic, self-righteous puritanical busybody who wants to make himself the center of your life. And You - that's right, You! -- are all alcoholics.

So ends the "Drunk-a-logue" that we needed to hear from Bill "the swill" W.

Thanks for letting me share!


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Arthur Christopher Schaper March 09, 2013 at 05:11 PM
"Love and tolerance is our code" One of the many phrases that John probably repeated, yet never practices. How is this post "self-centered"? It's about Bill W.! In fact, I was grounded in AA for a long time. I was forced to go, but I do not drink! Never did! (Yikes!) The program is a cult. I have done the research -- personal, empirical, and historical. I have read about the high number of suicides -- including someone close to me along with many people out and about. Please visit errorsofaa.blogspot.com for more information. The fact that your resort to name-calling and belittling confirms the cult like hold that this program has on adherents such as yourself. I forgive you. The program does not work. Many of its claims have been debunked. My own mother quit smoking without "Twelve Steps" -- same is true for my father. I have met many people who left the meetings, and live, live, live!
Laura Tompkins March 14, 2013 at 05:10 PM
Dear ACS, As you know, all these cult members have is their 'program.' It is all their life is or can ever be about. They are desperate to prove it works because they have wasted years lying to themselves that it does ... When none of their dreams have remotely come true and the 'promises' forget about it. How could they when their most important reason for existing is chanting negative affirmations about themselves? Their minds are dead. Therefore, when you speak the truth about their beloved cult, they go on the attack. They have nothing else to work toward and of course, they must defend their way of life that they have convinced themselves is the only way. They are truly unwell and as dependent on their cult as they once were on their drug of choice. All they have are excuses for their guru and ad hominem attacks ... They cannot defend that which is indefensible. They have no actually debating skills since that have been brainwashed to believe they could not live without their cult. Therefore, your revealing the truth is an enormous threat to them. It's very sad. Keep telling the truth no matter what. You are right and it is important to speak the truth. The truth is important for your own reprogramming. The truth is important for those who are looking for real help and not a religious cult. Nice work! Love you so much! By the way, you are NOT powerless, insane, a sinner, morally reprehensible, or have a defective character. Lies. All lies.
Laura Tompkins March 14, 2013 at 05:11 PM
Arthur Christopher Schaper March 20, 2013 at 06:42 PM
Laura: I want to be on the blogradio show that you did with Monica. I want to tell people what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now, and how much I love the life that I have now received. Please get in touch with me, so that I can get in touch with other people, too. Thanks!
Laura Tompkins March 20, 2013 at 07:15 PM
ACS - It's not my show but I will ask Monica if she is interested. Email me and after I get in touch we can go from there. ldyluk47@yahoo.com


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