Flirting with Destiny: Fashion Therapy

Wendy Plumb

Owner, The Cottage

Fashion Therapy: Flirting with Destiny

Posted on Tuesday, August 2, 2011

“I don’t understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little… if only out of politeness.  And then, you never know, maybe that’s the day she has a date with destiny.  And it’s best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.”

                                                                            - Coco Chanel

How do you feel every day when you leave the house in the morning?

How often do you think about your place in the world?  Are you joyful, grateful and excited to embrace the day?  Could today be the day that will possibly change your life forever?  Many of us who are unmarried and perhaps looking for “the one” probably think of our destiny more than others.  And then for others, the daily routine of life may get in the way of how we feel about ourselves and the energy we are portraying.

My daughter attends the French school in the Palisades.  All the moms look so elegant in the morning while dropping off their children.  I thought to myself, how do they all look so good every morning - so early in the day?

As I looked closer, I became aware that it wasn’t about what they were wearing - but how they were wearing it.  It was all in their attitude.  No matter what was going on internally, they displayed an ‘elegant style’ even if they just had on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. 

This always fascinated me even back in the days when I lived in France. French women have a certain way about them, no matter what they believe, they are beautiful.  I admire this quality very much.  As for me, I never felt that way.  I lived under the impression it was arrogant to think you were pretty.  I now believe it instills confidence in a woman when taught correctly.  People are attracted to other confidant people.

This reminds me of a story I remember after meeting one of the mothers from my daughter’s school at the park one day.  She began to tell me how the past year had been very difficult for her and that she was going through a terrible divorce.  As she shared a few details, I was able to read between the lines some without prying too much.  The one thing that touched me the most about her story was her disappointment with ‘destiny’.  She told me that before she got married she had a great zest for life.  She was happy, had many friends and, like most her age, dreamt about whom she was going to marry someday.  “I used to read my horoscope in all the magazines and wondered where my life was heading”, she said.

Then it happened, she met a man, got married and had two children.  She never read a horoscope again or gave a thought about her future.  She said there was no point in it because what could happen any different; she had found her destiny.  Now, years later, she laughed while telling me, “I cannot believe I’m in my early 40’s with two children and reading my horoscopes again.  I would have never imagined this.”  

I will say though that after her very trying times, she had such a new found vitality for life.  She had learned so much about the way she saw her future.  The experience made her humble and made her stronger.  “I will never take for granted any moment of my life again” she said, “because you never know.  I wake up in the morning, get my kids ready for school and get myself ready for the day, because I may meet my destiny again.”

Our lives begin so innocently… with an attitude toward life that is totally fresh and alive.  As parents, we try to preserve that sense in our children for as long as we can.  As our own lives evolve challenges constantly arise; it is not so much the challenge of life that makes us jaded, it is the attitude we have to overcome.

If we choose to hold on for years, to be victimized by our circumstance, then our lives will remain in the state indefinitely.  

When this attitude takes place, it can affect not only you but many others around you.  The spirit in our eyes dies; we stop caring about how we look and we present the wrong impression.

Our inside reflects our outside - so it is vitally important to maintain your spirit.  Your soul is capable of having many destinies.  Grow, learn and move on from each period in your life, just as your child does from grade to grade. 

As an example, would you hold your child back in school because their feelings had been hurt by another child?  No, of course not.  You would love them and encourage them and explain that sometimes things like this can happen in life.  But you would not hold them back from all their greatness.  The same goes for us: Love yourself, surround yourself with others who will encourage you and help educate yourself spiritually.

Beauty resides in all of our experiences in life.  Don’t let the freshness in your eyes disappear.  We fall in love with a person’s “well kept” soul from the inside and out.  Flirt everyday with your life.  If feels good to get a genuine compliment from another human being.  And likewise, experience how good it feels to give a compliment. 

How do you want people to remember you?  Who do you want to attract?

I remember from my conversation in the park that day a beautiful strong woman totally inspired me.  You can experience the same.

Have a great week…..

Avoir,

Wendy