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Health & Fitness

Woman Stabs Fiance to Death On Wedding Day

A satirical look at current events!

Woman Stabs Fiance to Death On Wedding Day:   A Pennsylvania woman has stabbed her fiance to death during an argument on their wedding day, just hours before they were to get married.  All I can say is he was was lucky this happened before they were married.  She sounds like someone who could really make your life miserable.

Spider Found Living In Woman's Ear Canal:  In what can only be described as a nightmare-come-true, a spider crawled inside a woman's ear canal and lived there for five days before doctors extracted it.  Lawyers for the spider are claiming that the ear falls under local rent control laws and that the spider has to be given 30-days notice before being evicted.

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Floating Islands Could Save the Sinking Maldives:  With rising seas threatening and situated just 5 feet above sea level, the Maldivian government has teamed up with a Dutch architectural firm to create floating islands that could hopefully save the sinking Maldives nation.  I’m wouldn’t be too sure.  I float checks all the time and it doesn’t seem to do much to save my sinking finances.

Evander Holyfield Divorce Final:  Retired World Champion boxer Evander Holyfield’s divorce has just been finalized after several attempts at reconciliation failed.  Holyfield’s wife cited lack of communication, claiming it was just too difficult getting his ear.

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Restaurant Menus Found to Be Very Dirty:  A new study determined that one of the dirtiest items found in a restaurant is the menus, which rarely get wiped down between customers.  Health officials say this is primarily why they’ve always urged restaurant patrons to refrain from eating any of the menus.

New York Subway Offers Free Wi-Fi:  With 1.6 billion riders each year, the new free Wi-Fi offering in New York's subway is a big hit with commuters.  Grateful commuters say that before the city started offering the free Wi-Fi, it was nearly impossible for anyone to watch porn during their commute to work.

Roseanne Barr Named Peace And Freedom Party's Presidential Candidate:  At their convention in Los Angeles, Roseanne Barr has been named the Peace And Freedom Party's Presidential Candidate for 2012.  If elected president, her first act will be to declare Tom Arnold the new Benedict Arnold.

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