West Nile Virus Cases Escalate: Health officials across the US are bracing for a sharp escalation in West Nile virus cases as the disease peaks over the next six weeks nad changing weather patterns allow the mosquitoes that carry the deadly disease to flourish. Health officials say one eradication strategy under consideration is to ignite a turf war between the West Nile and East Nile viruses.
Richard III's Grave May Be Under Parking Lot: King Richard III of England had the honor of being memorialized in a William Shakespeare play after his death in battle in 1485, but modern-day archaeologists are on the hunt for the medieval king's physical resting place and believe it may be located under a parking lot. Ironically, if this location is confirmed, he could be cited for numerous parking code violations.
Rosie O’Donnell Suffers Heart Attack: Rosie O’Donnell posted on her blog that she suffered a heart attack immediately after having helped an “enormous woman” get back to her car. Sadly, that “enormous woman” who Rosie helped to get back to her car turned out to be herself.
Elderly Woman Ruins 19th Century Fresco: Authorities have ruled that a very elderly woman member of the Santuario de Misericodia church in northeastern Spain, truly meant well when she ruined a 19th century Fresco in a disastrous attempt to restore the painting herself. Of course the lesson here is that if you're going to do something really, really stupid, make sure that you do it when you're really, really old.
Recession Means Fewer Pets: A new study determined that as the recession deepens, many Americans have not only given up on having children, but also on having pets. The recession has hit me so hard, I can’t even afford pet peeves anymore.
Mark David Chapman Denied Parole: New York corrections officials report that Mark David Chapman, the man who killed John Lennon, has been denied release from prison in his seventh appearance before a parole board. And it probably wasn’t all that helpful to his cause when Chapman told the parole board that he could just kill to get his hands on a couple of Bruce Springsteen tickets.
Jenna Jameson Pleads Guilty to DUI: Former adult film star Jenna Jameson has pleaded guilty to driving under the influence after she collided with a light pole in Southern California. A few days following the accident, she endorsed Mitt Romney for president. Now if that isn’t enough to scare someone away from bouts of heavy drinking, I don’t know what will.
Man Pieces Life Back Together With Facebook Pics: A man who lost his memory reportedly used pictures on Facebook to piece his life back together. I suppose Facebook pics could help someone piece their life back together, but personally, I prefer Jack Daniels.