Shuttle Passes Over Los Angeles

A satirical look at current events!

Shuttle Passes Over Los Angeles:  The space shuttle Endeavour drew big cheering crowds as it flew over the Los Angeles basin.  I don’t wanna sound prudish, but one would think that if two giant aircraft were gonna become that intimate, they would at least have the decency to do so in the privacy of their own hanger.  But then again, I suppose that's how Piper Cubs are made.

Federal Court to Rule on Rocky Mountain Wolf Return:  An argument over whether wolves should be allowed to return to Rocky Mountain National Park to reduce an overabundance of elk is moving to a federal appeals court.  If the court rules in favor of the wolves, the elk are expected to seek refuge at the local Elks Lodge.

Chef Admits on Tape to Slow-Cooking Wife's Body:  The Daily Breeze reports that a stunned jury in the Los Angeles County murder trial of a local chef heard him say in a taped interview with detectives that he had slow-cooked his wife’s body for four days to get rid of the corpse after accidentally killing her.  Wow!  Apparently this guy must have gone to the Jeffrey Dahmer School of Culinary Arts.  The chef told police that while he does have a bad temper, its medium-rare when he kills and cooks someone.

Paris Hilton Calls Gays Disgusting:  A cab driver recorded a conversation between Paris Hilton and a friend discussing an iPhone app for gay dating where she claimed that “gay guys are the horniest people in the world,” adding that “they’re disgusting.”  Yea, I can see where just the thought of someone flaunting their sexuality publicly would be really disgusting to someone like Paris Hilton.


Car Wash Offering Free Sex After 9 Washes:  Police near Kuala Lumpur cracked down after getting wind of a car wash that was offering free sex after nine car washes.  On a positive note, travelers report seeing very few dirty cars in Kuala Lumpur.

Oldest Working Judge:  A 103 -year-old judge in Wichita, Kansas who requires a wheelchair as well as oxygen, is the oldest working jurist in the United States.  This gives him the distinction of being the only Federal judge who needs be carried in to carry out justice. 

Amelia Earhart Investigation:  Anthropologists say studies are so far inconclusive that a bone fragment found on a remote South Pacific island may belong to Amelia Earhart, the legendary pilot who disappeared 74 years ago while flying over the Pacific Ocean in a record attempt to circle the world at the equator.  On a positive note, her luggage finally showed up last week at LaGuardia. 

American Flight Delayed After Flight Attendants Argue:  Passengers on a New York-to-Washington American Eagle flight were delayed for more than four hours after the airline's flight attendants got into an argument with each other, resulting in the need to bring in a new crew.  Guess they must have gotten flight crew mixed up with fight crew.  Fortunately, the pilots were sleeping up in the cockpit and not involved in the disturbance.


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