Japanese Whiskey Gaining Ground in US

A satirical look at current events!

Japanese Whiskey Gaining Ground in US:  After decades as an also-ran in the American whiskey market, Japanese whiskey is on the ascent, with US sales rising 44 percent in the last year.  My, how things have changed over the last 70 years.  Who would have ever dreamed that Americans would one day be more than happy to have the Japanese help us to get bombed?

Goats Engineered to Produce Human Breast Milk:  Scientists have successfully transferred human genes for breast milk enzymes to goats that will allow the goats to grow up and produce human breast milk - a move that may eventually make human breasts obsolete.  Scientists believe that a technology such as this may one-day mean that people really will be reading Playboy Magazine “just for the articles.”

Marijuana Use and Testicular Cancer:  According to a U.S. study, young men who had smoked marijuana recreationally were twice as likely to be diagnosed with testicular cancer than men who have never used marijuana.  And perhaps the saddest part is - even if they want to quit smoking pot - they may no longer have the cojones to do it. 


Fish Oil Supplements Don't Prevent Heart Attacks:  Despite booming sales, taking fish oil pills rich in omega-3 fatty acids doesn't appear to have a significant effect on heart attacks, strokes or death according to a recent study.    Guess researchers felt that there was something a little fishy about all those health benefits claims.

Early Laptop Designer Dies:  Bill Moggridge, a British industrial designer who designed an early portable computer with the flip-open shape that is common for today’s laptops, has died at age 69.  Friends say they prefer not to think of him as dead, but just in “sleep mode.”

US Obesity Rate Growing:  Drawing on new government data, Duke University researchers predict that by the year 2030, the rate of severely obese Americans will have doubled to 11 percent of the population.  Critics say the researchers are nothing but big fat lairs.


Smithsonian Buys Meteorite:  Smithsonian's Museum of Natural History in Washington, which houses the world’s largest collection of meteorites, has just paid $10,000 for a small meteorite that crashed through an office roof in Virginia last year.  While the Smithsonian’s meteorite collection is impressive, its nothing compared to the ones up in outer space.

Texting While Driving:  According to a recent survey, Southern Californians are the worst abusers when it comes to texting and driving.  Perhaps more disturbing, many of those texts were found to have a significant amount of spelling and grammatical errors.

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