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Health & Fitness

Blog | Guns Allowed On Some Pennsylvania State Schools

A satirical look at current events!

Guns Allowed On Some Pennsylvania State Schools:  At least five Pennsylvania state-owned universities are now allowing guns on campus after the state's lawyers concluded that an outright ban on weapons was likely unconstitutional.  Funny, I’m old enough to remember back when students were still carrying books to school, not AK47’s. 

Crocodiles Dying in India:  Authorities say as many as 26 endangered crocodiles have been found dead in northern India. Guess we don’t have to ask what kind of tears were shed for them.

Stealing Copper:  Verizon is offering a reward of up to $10,000 for information leading to the arrest and prosecution of those responsible for stealing their copper cable in the Los Angeles.  Verizon says if the thieves don’t stop soon, they’re gonna call the coppers. 

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Ashton Kutcher Altercation at Country Music Festival:   TMZ is reporting that Ashton Kutcher got into a violent altercation after a security guard shoved both he and a couple of female fans while at a country music festival in Indio, Ca this weekend.  Ashton Kutcher, a security guard and two females in a violent “shoving match?”  All I can say is - Dear God, please make it stop before someone ends up breaking a nail!

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

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Scientists Outline Benefits of Chocolate:  Researchers say antioxidant-rich dark chocolate is healthy for your whole body because its is rich in flavonoids, a class of antioxidant that helps to improve blood flow (and thus brain health) by regulating cholesterol and lowering blood pressure.  Now if they can just somehow figure out some way to convince people to eat the stuff.

Survey Finds Newspaper Reporter Worst Job:  According to a new survey from job website CareerCast.com, being a newspaper reporter is considered the worst job to have in 2013.  It kind of makes you wonder exactly where crack whore appears on that list? 

Tim Lambesis Arrested in Murder-for-Hire Plot:  Tim Lambesis, lead singer of the Christian Rock band As I Lay Dying, was arrested after allegedly trying to hire an undercover cop in San Diego to kill his estranged wife.  Yet another example of how difficult its getting to find a decent hit man these days.  On a positive note, now all he has to do is "ask for God's forgiveness," and he next thing you know, he’ll find himself elected to represent a South Carolina district in the US House of Representatives.

Postal Service Posts Huge Loss:  The U.S. Postal Service announced that they have lost 8.5 billion this past year.  They didn’t specify if that was dollars or pieces of mail.

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